Dr Connop, your deconstruction and itemising of dual awareness resonates deeply with how I experience this work. It reminds me of something my stepdad taught me when I was around 13 - he was a transport manager, and my first driving experience (an H&S nightmare now, but critical experiential learning) was in an Heavy Goods Vehicle aka Lorry!
I distinctly remember questioning him about why supermarket deliveries used what he'd described as "entry level equipment" whilst the local Land Rover plant used much heavier rigs. He explained it in practical terms: "There's a maximum 20 tonne load, don't need the sort of rig we use for the heavy industrial work." He articulated (excuse the pun) complex logistics in a way that didn't involve diagrams or textbooks - just the simplification of something intricate through understanding and a mutual belief that knowledge was the greatest capital we could build and distribute in the absence of actual capital.
Your breakdown of therapeutic approaches feels like that same wisdom. Every type of emotional "load" needs its specific therapeutic "unit" - EMDR for one person's trauma, Somatic Experiencing for another's, Yoga Nidra for yet another.
That early experience of managing heavy loads - learning to hold dual awareness between immediate road conditions and the broader route ahead, between the cargo's requirements and the vehicle's capabilities - taught me something about the pendulation you describe. The constant toggling between what needs immediate attention and the bigger picture, between present safety and the weight of what we're carrying.
It strikes me that trauma healing, like transport logistics, is fundamentally about safe passage - moving something heavy from one place to another without damage, using exactly the right equipment for the job.
Thank you for this beautifully practical exploration of something so complex. Your work continues that tradition of making knowledge accessible - the greatest capital we can build and share.
Thanks so much Rob for your thoughtful comments, and for sharing that analogy. Yes, that's it - 'the constant toggling between what needs immediate attention and the bigger picture, between present safety and the weight of what we're carrying'. Such a helpful practice 😊
This really landed for me. I love how you unpack polarities not as opposites to choose between, but as experiences we can hold simultaneously. It makes the nervous system feel like a landscape, one we can explore and return to safety within. I’ve been experimenting with pendulating between discomfort and calm, and it’s wild how much room it creates for clarity and presence. Thank you for laying it out so thoughtfully it’s a guide as much as a reflection. ✨
Oh so very well articulated Vicki… 🙏.. As a level 2 Irest teacher and having experienced EMDR in therapy , I can attest to the incredible effectiveness of both practices .. thanks so much for bringing awareness to all those who aren’t aware of these practices.. So healing.. In gratitude Debra 🙏🌷
Oh thanks so much Debra. Yes, these are such simple, but powerful and effective practices - the world needs to know! I’m glad to hear they have helped you too 😊
Loved this read! It may seem at a glance hypocritical, but building resilience and expanding our emotional tolerance on both sides helps us hold both at once and heal thoroughly
Absolutely David. These tools have been powerful for me, and I love watching people's capacity expand as they learn to hold both. Thanks for commenting 😊
Apologies for what may be a frivolous comment, but I was immediately struck by your picture, because I had chosen exactly that one recently for my post called Counterfactuals (which I am sure you know refers to the situation where one decision can lead to a completely different outcome), see https://arichardson.substack.com/p/counterfactuals
I like how you have explained the many dualities that we experience and how we can move between them. I think the centre of presence is important to come to whether in a lighter or darker, calm or energised space etc. In a structured day in practice for me this is every 45 mins after a planned session. If that session is deep thought work I use the time between to energise and re centre. If it’s a meeting and collaborative I go waking or something more relaxed. If unplanned and it’s a reactive response that brings difficult emotions breath work brings me back. I agree about intentionally mixing it up, doing the opposite, shifting the energy states. This can be planned into your day or quick state shifters as they happen.
This is beautiful and so resonant, Vicki. I find that this sort of practice also helps me find understanding, compassion, and even love for people who don’t see things exactly as I do: "Holding multiple realities simultaneously, and finding a steady pace of toggling between them."
Yes, exactly Dana. So important in our polarised world. Thanks for being a reminder of this, you are one of the rare non-polarised voices in our online world ❤
Thank you, I found this helpful. I am many thing wife mother teacher communicate and trauma survivor. Therapy has transformed my life and much of my writing bis reflects my journey. I may not know the technical words but I haved the lived experience. This post describes so helpfully what I find so difficult .. . But now I understand, to heal I need to be aware of my pain, to see it, to feel it but not to be in it. Thank you
I am so glad it was helpful Nat. Yes, we need to try to occupy the middle ground, where we're neither avoiding our pain, nor lost in it. Where we can hold it with tenderness and awareness. Thanks so much for commenting and wishing you well with your healing journey.
Dr Connop, your deconstruction and itemising of dual awareness resonates deeply with how I experience this work. It reminds me of something my stepdad taught me when I was around 13 - he was a transport manager, and my first driving experience (an H&S nightmare now, but critical experiential learning) was in an Heavy Goods Vehicle aka Lorry!
I distinctly remember questioning him about why supermarket deliveries used what he'd described as "entry level equipment" whilst the local Land Rover plant used much heavier rigs. He explained it in practical terms: "There's a maximum 20 tonne load, don't need the sort of rig we use for the heavy industrial work." He articulated (excuse the pun) complex logistics in a way that didn't involve diagrams or textbooks - just the simplification of something intricate through understanding and a mutual belief that knowledge was the greatest capital we could build and distribute in the absence of actual capital.
Your breakdown of therapeutic approaches feels like that same wisdom. Every type of emotional "load" needs its specific therapeutic "unit" - EMDR for one person's trauma, Somatic Experiencing for another's, Yoga Nidra for yet another.
That early experience of managing heavy loads - learning to hold dual awareness between immediate road conditions and the broader route ahead, between the cargo's requirements and the vehicle's capabilities - taught me something about the pendulation you describe. The constant toggling between what needs immediate attention and the bigger picture, between present safety and the weight of what we're carrying.
It strikes me that trauma healing, like transport logistics, is fundamentally about safe passage - moving something heavy from one place to another without damage, using exactly the right equipment for the job.
Thank you for this beautifully practical exploration of something so complex. Your work continues that tradition of making knowledge accessible - the greatest capital we can build and share.
Thanks so much Rob for your thoughtful comments, and for sharing that analogy. Yes, that's it - 'the constant toggling between what needs immediate attention and the bigger picture, between present safety and the weight of what we're carrying'. Such a helpful practice 😊
This really landed for me. I love how you unpack polarities not as opposites to choose between, but as experiences we can hold simultaneously. It makes the nervous system feel like a landscape, one we can explore and return to safety within. I’ve been experimenting with pendulating between discomfort and calm, and it’s wild how much room it creates for clarity and presence. Thank you for laying it out so thoughtfully it’s a guide as much as a reflection. ✨
Thanks so much for your comments. That's great to know it landed for you. And yes, it really is amazing how much space this simple practice creates 😊
Oh so very well articulated Vicki… 🙏.. As a level 2 Irest teacher and having experienced EMDR in therapy , I can attest to the incredible effectiveness of both practices .. thanks so much for bringing awareness to all those who aren’t aware of these practices.. So healing.. In gratitude Debra 🙏🌷
Oh thanks so much Debra. Yes, these are such simple, but powerful and effective practices - the world needs to know! I’m glad to hear they have helped you too 😊
Loved this read! It may seem at a glance hypocritical, but building resilience and expanding our emotional tolerance on both sides helps us hold both at once and heal thoroughly
Absolutely David. These tools have been powerful for me, and I love watching people's capacity expand as they learn to hold both. Thanks for commenting 😊
Apologies for what may be a frivolous comment, but I was immediately struck by your picture, because I had chosen exactly that one recently for my post called Counterfactuals (which I am sure you know refers to the situation where one decision can lead to a completely different outcome), see https://arichardson.substack.com/p/counterfactuals
Haha, yes I often notice those Unsplash pics get duplicated elsewhere.... great minds think alike 😄
I like how you have explained the many dualities that we experience and how we can move between them. I think the centre of presence is important to come to whether in a lighter or darker, calm or energised space etc. In a structured day in practice for me this is every 45 mins after a planned session. If that session is deep thought work I use the time between to energise and re centre. If it’s a meeting and collaborative I go waking or something more relaxed. If unplanned and it’s a reactive response that brings difficult emotions breath work brings me back. I agree about intentionally mixing it up, doing the opposite, shifting the energy states. This can be planned into your day or quick state shifters as they happen.
Thanks so much for sharing that Indy. Sounds like you have some great self-care practices on board 😊
This is beautiful and so resonant, Vicki. I find that this sort of practice also helps me find understanding, compassion, and even love for people who don’t see things exactly as I do: "Holding multiple realities simultaneously, and finding a steady pace of toggling between them."
Yes, exactly Dana. So important in our polarised world. Thanks for being a reminder of this, you are one of the rare non-polarised voices in our online world ❤
❤
Thank you, I found this helpful. I am many thing wife mother teacher communicate and trauma survivor. Therapy has transformed my life and much of my writing bis reflects my journey. I may not know the technical words but I haved the lived experience. This post describes so helpfully what I find so difficult .. . But now I understand, to heal I need to be aware of my pain, to see it, to feel it but not to be in it. Thank you
I am so glad it was helpful Nat. Yes, we need to try to occupy the middle ground, where we're neither avoiding our pain, nor lost in it. Where we can hold it with tenderness and awareness. Thanks so much for commenting and wishing you well with your healing journey.