So lovely, Dr. Vicki!! Everything related to our reproductive system is a threshold and an initiation, should we choose to listen. I discovered this last year how going with the seasons can be extraordinarily wonderful for my body, allowing myself to follow that flow has done so much good for me. I agree the learning is deep and potent when you follow your body's own rhythms. Thank you for sharing this! XO
Thank you Danielle. Yes! There is so much wisdom in our bodies, that has long been pathologised by the male-dominated western medicine paradigms. I'm glad to hear this resonates with your experience ❤
In all likelihood, trying to undermine our natural feminine ways.
Oh...I remember the days when my husband (who was bodybuilding for a competition) and I would work out together, and he "encouraged" me to lift weights that were way too heavy for me. Needless to say, that arrangement didn't last long!! XO
Heightened sensitivity to sensory stimulation has been huge for me. But beyond the specifics, I resonate so deeply with this: “Sometimes the body needs us to face some stark choices about how we are living and where we are expending our energy.” Yes - I feel this so deeply.
For now at least, I’d rather not do pharmaceutical MHT (though I don’t judge others who go that route). Personally, I’d rather face the stark choices first, and shift what my body wants me to shift. The reality is, my body-mind-spirit feel pretty great when I eat well, sleep well, and get away from much of what we call “modern living.”
Such an important conversation, Vicki - thank you for opening it.
Thanks Dana. Yes, I feel the same. 'Modern living' has a big impact on our bodies. I'm also hoping to avoid the MHT route if I can continue listening to and respecting what my body needs... so far, this is working well. Thanks for commenting. I'm curious that this post has attracted so little engagement compared to my usual posts 🤔
You know, I was wondering that, too. And to be honest, I wrote and deleted my own comment three times because I kept worrying I was coming off as judgey of people who choose a different path from me - or that it would be perceived that way regardless of how carefully I worded things.
The truth is, I have strong feelings about the pharmaceutical industry and the push to take pharmaceuticals (or even supplements, etc.) as a first course of action. While I’m open to sharing that if someone asks me about it, I’ve become wary and weary of online exchanges that seem to go nowhere useful.
I also suspect this topic is quite charged in ways I might personally find surprising, or unfortunately, not surprising these days. Oftentimes, people seem to have a lot of identity attachment (and resistance) around health and lifestyle choices. I suspect there’s a lot of secret shame wrapped up in that, too. Perhaps related to someone feeling or knowing deep down that they would feel better if they made certain eating and lifestyle shifts. It can feel (at the time) easier to project anger outwards... sigh.
Recently, I was shocked to read an article in which the author (an MD who actively encourages asking questions and exploring root causes) shared examples of online discussions where people were equating things like asking your doctor questions or talking about the root cause with so-called “wellness grift.” That made steam come out of my ears. Chinese Medicine, like all holistic modalities, has been emphasizing the importance of addressing root causes for thousands of years.
All to say again, I’m really grateful you’re writing about this! I’ll bet it planted small seeds for many people, even if they didn’t comment.
Thanks for that Dana. It's reassuring to hear. I also noticed I felt some fear about publishing this, and worded and re-worded it several times to try to make it clear I am not judging anyone else's choices, especially around MHT, which I know has been a life-saver for many. I generally try to straddle the both/and position.... recognising the grain of truth and the usefulness in each perspective, but am definitely committed to questioning the root causes and have really appreciated that from Chinese Medicine too. Acupuncture has been very helpful on the perimenopause journey so far. Thanks for being here and being a voice I resonate with ❤
This resonates so much, Vicki. MHT has been a lifesaver for me, and/also I agree that perhaps we’re using it and general overriding of the body’s signals, to fuel a capitalistic, unsustainable lifestyle that’s serving no one particularly well. Thank you for this. 🙏🏽
Thanks Sonia, I'm glad to hear it resonates. I'm very much in the both/and camp - glad hormonal options exist for those who need them, and also very keen that we don't let that be the end of the conversation about why our bodies are struggling so much. Appreciate you sharing your experience.
Beautiful message for an important crowd. You're absolutely right about the adrenals. They take on a higher burden starting at perimenopause and will always prioritize stress hormones.
Pointing out that the crash comes afterwards is key. When we're riding high we think we can last like that forever. There's always a debt to pay.
One additional sensory thing for me lately is crossing bridges. My dad had an issue with them and I wonder if he imprinted that on to me. I wouldn't be surprised that it's coming up now.
I'd love to crosspost this article in the fall. Let me know if that's okay.
Thanks so much for your comments Shelby. I would be honoured for you to cross-post this piece, and I'm glad to hear it resonates with your experience 😊
Lovely article. It’s wonderful that more women are discussing their experience with perimenopause/ menopause and hopefully more research into it will continue to be done! I appreciate you speaking to the privilege it often takes to truly be able to listen to our bodies needs as well.
Thanks so much for your comments, and yes, isn't it great that these conversations are coming out of the closet into the mainstream narrative?! Long may it continue 😊
Bingo! This great essay gets me thinking and steers me to the center.
Perimenopausal nervous system dysregulation seems to take some getting used to. What I mean by that is I found it tricky to recognize in myself until it happened a few times (ok, quite a few times because I'm a slow learner🤣). I would tell myself it was a temporary setback, that I was a weenie, that I wasn't acting 'normal' (a state that doesn't really exist other than in my own mind), or any other excuse that would deflect from what was really going on.
What was/is happening, as you so beautifully point out, is a call for deeper, inner exploration. A question being posed by my body which wants to know "is this okay for you"?
Yes, I am definitely not meaning to minimise how hard it can be. My body has been very demanding and vocal in its needs during this time. But it has really forced me to sit up and listen in a way that I wouldn't have done otherwise! Thanks so much for sharing your experiences here Donna 😊
Hi Vicki, I hear you and it's good to hear your experience of becoming in-synch with your body over time, through perimenopause. My article today shares how recent symptoms motivated me to seek out medical support because I knew things were very out of sync to my norm. Plus, I have several cases of familial cancer in my family. So, I very much agree with learning and feeling our body through perimenopause. I worry a lot for caregivers given recent reports of deprioritising their health in the UK, I think we're particularly at risk of our body keeping the traumatic score and weight of caring for a long time. Hence, my call to action in my article. I truly thought I'd be writing a different article today, and feel blessed.
Thanks for sharing that Victoria. Yes, I was thinking alot about women in the sandwich generation and the demands of caring for others as I wrote this. Part of what has enabled me to listen so closely to my body is not having any dependents at this time. Its incredibly challenging for those caring for sick loved ones or raising small kids through this phase of life. I can't help but think our biology wants us to step back from the world for a while, but our lives don't enable us to do this. Thanks for sharing your experiences and I look forward to reading your piece.
"but can we also ask whether we are medicating ourselves to continue to live an unsustainable lifestyle?"
So much this.
There is a reason so many women in their 40s and 50s get divorced. They realize that their conditioning no longer serves them and they need to break free. I am 53 and appreciate the wisdom of the body. It's part of my job to help educate women (and men) about listening to their body and moving against the "shoulds" to what their body is telling them. It's anti-culture, for sure, but isn't it time we were allowed to live authentically?
Thank you for this beautiful essay on perimenopause.
Thanks so much Janine. I'm glad to hear this resonated with you. Yes, living authentically would upset the apple cart of so many of our current structures and cultural patterns. It's radical and challenging, but so needed. Glad to hear you're also offering this type of work, the world needs more of these voices ❤
I spent 16 months between 31-32 with chronic pain. Nobody knew what was wrong with me and it sent me on a journey of being forced to rest and forced to come to terms with my mind-body connection. I appreciate all of your thoughts here. (Thankfully I no longer deal with chronic pain but that experience has helped me live every day through the lens of gratitude.) I now witness my symptoms as yellow flags urging me to slow down or surrender something.
Yes, exactly Chanel - they are yellow flags from the body. I find the body talks to us first in whispers, and if we ignore the whispers it will start to shout louder. Thanks for sharing your experience, and I'm glad to hear you found a way through the chronic pain symptoms.
I’ve been wondering this more lately too…”Menopausal Hormone Therapy can be enormously helpful and life-changing for some, but can we also ask whether we are medicating ourselves to continue to live an unsustainable lifestyle?”
It took me 4 years of deep healing to start seeing disability by chronic illness in 2018 as a gift.
In that it opened up the space for me to do the work, to heal. To explore my truth (I matter. My health matters) and soul beliefs (that if we can get to the root of the problem, we can create a pathway to wellness. That it is possible to live a life free from disease, pain and suffering).
It was from this place that I learnt to rebalance my hormones (self taught). I’ve since reversed peri-m. The only symptom I had from age 42.5 was sleep disturbance. This year I’ve healed that too. (Age 45)
I didn’t sail through it willy nilly, but I’m glad I got started and the for the opportunity that having everything stripped from me gave me. Even if it was from the rubble of all the ashes.
Thanks so much for sharing your experiences here Amber. I think we have walked very similar paths. Chronic illness was a harsh teacher, but it has made ALL the difference to how I have approached perimenopause, and given me the tools to walk that fine line of listening to the body and coming back into balance.
So lovely, Dr. Vicki!! Everything related to our reproductive system is a threshold and an initiation, should we choose to listen. I discovered this last year how going with the seasons can be extraordinarily wonderful for my body, allowing myself to follow that flow has done so much good for me. I agree the learning is deep and potent when you follow your body's own rhythms. Thank you for sharing this! XO
Thank you Danielle. Yes! There is so much wisdom in our bodies, that has long been pathologised by the male-dominated western medicine paradigms. I'm glad to hear this resonates with your experience ❤
And medicated, which is even worse! XO
Yes, it's interesting we have medicated women's biology in a way we haven't done with men's, as though it is inherently faulty
In all likelihood, trying to undermine our natural feminine ways.
Oh...I remember the days when my husband (who was bodybuilding for a competition) and I would work out together, and he "encouraged" me to lift weights that were way too heavy for me. Needless to say, that arrangement didn't last long!! XO
Heightened sensitivity to sensory stimulation has been huge for me. But beyond the specifics, I resonate so deeply with this: “Sometimes the body needs us to face some stark choices about how we are living and where we are expending our energy.” Yes - I feel this so deeply.
For now at least, I’d rather not do pharmaceutical MHT (though I don’t judge others who go that route). Personally, I’d rather face the stark choices first, and shift what my body wants me to shift. The reality is, my body-mind-spirit feel pretty great when I eat well, sleep well, and get away from much of what we call “modern living.”
Such an important conversation, Vicki - thank you for opening it.
Thanks Dana. Yes, I feel the same. 'Modern living' has a big impact on our bodies. I'm also hoping to avoid the MHT route if I can continue listening to and respecting what my body needs... so far, this is working well. Thanks for commenting. I'm curious that this post has attracted so little engagement compared to my usual posts 🤔
You know, I was wondering that, too. And to be honest, I wrote and deleted my own comment three times because I kept worrying I was coming off as judgey of people who choose a different path from me - or that it would be perceived that way regardless of how carefully I worded things.
The truth is, I have strong feelings about the pharmaceutical industry and the push to take pharmaceuticals (or even supplements, etc.) as a first course of action. While I’m open to sharing that if someone asks me about it, I’ve become wary and weary of online exchanges that seem to go nowhere useful.
I also suspect this topic is quite charged in ways I might personally find surprising, or unfortunately, not surprising these days. Oftentimes, people seem to have a lot of identity attachment (and resistance) around health and lifestyle choices. I suspect there’s a lot of secret shame wrapped up in that, too. Perhaps related to someone feeling or knowing deep down that they would feel better if they made certain eating and lifestyle shifts. It can feel (at the time) easier to project anger outwards... sigh.
Recently, I was shocked to read an article in which the author (an MD who actively encourages asking questions and exploring root causes) shared examples of online discussions where people were equating things like asking your doctor questions or talking about the root cause with so-called “wellness grift.” That made steam come out of my ears. Chinese Medicine, like all holistic modalities, has been emphasizing the importance of addressing root causes for thousands of years.
All to say again, I’m really grateful you’re writing about this! I’ll bet it planted small seeds for many people, even if they didn’t comment.
Thanks for that Dana. It's reassuring to hear. I also noticed I felt some fear about publishing this, and worded and re-worded it several times to try to make it clear I am not judging anyone else's choices, especially around MHT, which I know has been a life-saver for many. I generally try to straddle the both/and position.... recognising the grain of truth and the usefulness in each perspective, but am definitely committed to questioning the root causes and have really appreciated that from Chinese Medicine too. Acupuncture has been very helpful on the perimenopause journey so far. Thanks for being here and being a voice I resonate with ❤
I think you conveyed all that beautifully here, Vicki. It sets your writing apart from so much of what I see online these days. Grateful for you! ❤
Thank you Dana
This resonates so much, Vicki. MHT has been a lifesaver for me, and/also I agree that perhaps we’re using it and general overriding of the body’s signals, to fuel a capitalistic, unsustainable lifestyle that’s serving no one particularly well. Thank you for this. 🙏🏽
Thanks Sonia, I'm glad to hear it resonates. I'm very much in the both/and camp - glad hormonal options exist for those who need them, and also very keen that we don't let that be the end of the conversation about why our bodies are struggling so much. Appreciate you sharing your experience.
Beautiful message for an important crowd. You're absolutely right about the adrenals. They take on a higher burden starting at perimenopause and will always prioritize stress hormones.
Pointing out that the crash comes afterwards is key. When we're riding high we think we can last like that forever. There's always a debt to pay.
One additional sensory thing for me lately is crossing bridges. My dad had an issue with them and I wonder if he imprinted that on to me. I wouldn't be surprised that it's coming up now.
I'd love to crosspost this article in the fall. Let me know if that's okay.
Thanks so much for your comments Shelby. I would be honoured for you to cross-post this piece, and I'm glad to hear it resonates with your experience 😊
Lovely article. It’s wonderful that more women are discussing their experience with perimenopause/ menopause and hopefully more research into it will continue to be done! I appreciate you speaking to the privilege it often takes to truly be able to listen to our bodies needs as well.
Thanks so much for your comments, and yes, isn't it great that these conversations are coming out of the closet into the mainstream narrative?! Long may it continue 😊
Bingo! This great essay gets me thinking and steers me to the center.
Perimenopausal nervous system dysregulation seems to take some getting used to. What I mean by that is I found it tricky to recognize in myself until it happened a few times (ok, quite a few times because I'm a slow learner🤣). I would tell myself it was a temporary setback, that I was a weenie, that I wasn't acting 'normal' (a state that doesn't really exist other than in my own mind), or any other excuse that would deflect from what was really going on.
What was/is happening, as you so beautifully point out, is a call for deeper, inner exploration. A question being posed by my body which wants to know "is this okay for you"?
I just wish it wasn't so damn hard.
Thanks for this VIcki.
Yes, I am definitely not meaning to minimise how hard it can be. My body has been very demanding and vocal in its needs during this time. But it has really forced me to sit up and listen in a way that I wouldn't have done otherwise! Thanks so much for sharing your experiences here Donna 😊
Hi Vicki, I hear you and it's good to hear your experience of becoming in-synch with your body over time, through perimenopause. My article today shares how recent symptoms motivated me to seek out medical support because I knew things were very out of sync to my norm. Plus, I have several cases of familial cancer in my family. So, I very much agree with learning and feeling our body through perimenopause. I worry a lot for caregivers given recent reports of deprioritising their health in the UK, I think we're particularly at risk of our body keeping the traumatic score and weight of caring for a long time. Hence, my call to action in my article. I truly thought I'd be writing a different article today, and feel blessed.
Thanks for sharing that Victoria. Yes, I was thinking alot about women in the sandwich generation and the demands of caring for others as I wrote this. Part of what has enabled me to listen so closely to my body is not having any dependents at this time. Its incredibly challenging for those caring for sick loved ones or raising small kids through this phase of life. I can't help but think our biology wants us to step back from the world for a while, but our lives don't enable us to do this. Thanks for sharing your experiences and I look forward to reading your piece.
"but can we also ask whether we are medicating ourselves to continue to live an unsustainable lifestyle?"
So much this.
There is a reason so many women in their 40s and 50s get divorced. They realize that their conditioning no longer serves them and they need to break free. I am 53 and appreciate the wisdom of the body. It's part of my job to help educate women (and men) about listening to their body and moving against the "shoulds" to what their body is telling them. It's anti-culture, for sure, but isn't it time we were allowed to live authentically?
Thank you for this beautiful essay on perimenopause.
Thanks so much Janine. I'm glad to hear this resonated with you. Yes, living authentically would upset the apple cart of so many of our current structures and cultural patterns. It's radical and challenging, but so needed. Glad to hear you're also offering this type of work, the world needs more of these voices ❤
I spent 16 months between 31-32 with chronic pain. Nobody knew what was wrong with me and it sent me on a journey of being forced to rest and forced to come to terms with my mind-body connection. I appreciate all of your thoughts here. (Thankfully I no longer deal with chronic pain but that experience has helped me live every day through the lens of gratitude.) I now witness my symptoms as yellow flags urging me to slow down or surrender something.
Yes, exactly Chanel - they are yellow flags from the body. I find the body talks to us first in whispers, and if we ignore the whispers it will start to shout louder. Thanks for sharing your experience, and I'm glad to hear you found a way through the chronic pain symptoms.
I’ve been wondering this more lately too…”Menopausal Hormone Therapy can be enormously helpful and life-changing for some, but can we also ask whether we are medicating ourselves to continue to live an unsustainable lifestyle?”
It took me 4 years of deep healing to start seeing disability by chronic illness in 2018 as a gift.
In that it opened up the space for me to do the work, to heal. To explore my truth (I matter. My health matters) and soul beliefs (that if we can get to the root of the problem, we can create a pathway to wellness. That it is possible to live a life free from disease, pain and suffering).
It was from this place that I learnt to rebalance my hormones (self taught). I’ve since reversed peri-m. The only symptom I had from age 42.5 was sleep disturbance. This year I’ve healed that too. (Age 45)
I didn’t sail through it willy nilly, but I’m glad I got started and the for the opportunity that having everything stripped from me gave me. Even if it was from the rubble of all the ashes.
Thanks so much for sharing your experiences here Amber. I think we have walked very similar paths. Chronic illness was a harsh teacher, but it has made ALL the difference to how I have approached perimenopause, and given me the tools to walk that fine line of listening to the body and coming back into balance.
Absolutely. Last year I channeled the messages that “balance, peace and harmony” are what we are on earth to learn.
The way it’s playing out - as harrowing and misunderstood as that is - is in full support of us learning how to achieve that.
Those words certainly resonate with what I've needed to learn on my own journey Amber ❤️