This whole essay felt like a balm to my soul tonight.
I’m in the middle of packing up my home and staring down a week full of clients (I’m an eating disorder dietitian). I am running on empty. This was so lovely and cozy to read and gave me good ideas to tend to myself in small ways this week; thank you 🙏🏻
I integrate IFS into my counseling and I find I “see” my clients world in my minds eye as they describe what’s happening inside. I’ve started to make an “sss” sound on an exhale after sessions and let the mental image be pushed out with my breath. I may need to integrate some sort of energetic boundary during sessions, too, but returning to my own mind’s picture at the end of session has left me feeling grounded and almost refreshed.
Oh I love that Staci and may borrow it 😀 I'm glad to hear this piece was useful. Good luck with your move. So challenging to work in the midst of that!
Thank you for this timely reminder. I am a full time carer to my husband, and previously retired from a counselling and human services background where burn out was my end result. I was too busy trying to keep up with an ever increasing workload from an organisation more concerned with dollars than people to notice how impacted I was. And now I can feel, at times, those little niggles of exhaustion and overwhelm appearing in my home life, caring for my loved one, and it’s confronting. Your article reminded me of the importance of being in my body, noticing and honouring rather than rushing to keep the next ball in the air. Exhaling now
I really appreciate this perspective on burn out. I usually just think of “doing too much” but this way of looking at it allows for so much more flexibility and cleans greater ability to relax and not burn out — to release all that has built up! 💙
Thank you so much - yes, I think it's so much more nuanced than just 'doing too much' (although of course that can be a factor too). Thanks for your comments.
As a sensitive and embodied therapist too, during my years of practice I found these gifts to be so helpful to clients as no doubt like you I was highly attuned. But it also meant it was hard not to take on some of their pain into my own body as that's what's happens with attunement. Like you I needed to shake or stroke after when clients carried trauma.
A few years in I started to change my clothes as a further symbolic boundary so I had clothes for therapy and other clothes for the rest of my time! It did help to have that further separation.
But I did still get burned out, never to the degree of loosing my compassion - that's the worst case scenario to have a non-compassionate therapist and sadly I have met some.
Thanks Kate, for reading and for sharing your experiences. I'm sorry to hear you experienced burnout. It is understandable in this field, and sounds like you practiced great self-care by pivoting into the world of writing ❤
It wasn’t full burnout fortunately but I did reduce my client intake for a while. I had to stop in 2021 as I developed long Covid - I wasn’t able to concentrate or remember anything so I stopped - not very therapeutic! So I started writing. ☺️✨
I do appreciate that aspect of self-employment - the ability to increase or reduce my client load depending on my personal needs at any given time. And I definitely choose to see less people than some other therapists I know!
Thank you for this, Dr. Vicki. I work as a hospice chaplain and you put into words so much of what I've learned about how to be okay day in and day out. I will return to this essay on the days when I need someone else to remind me to dance, touch the ground, breathe, and show up authentically to my patients.
This is a great lens on burnout Vicki; giving us a different way to care for ourselves other than just decreasing the work (which obviously helps sometimes but it’s nice to have many tools).
Something you said reminded me of a professor I had who said she did her best therapy when she was just a little sick…well enough to show up, but lower energy. She wasn’t recommending it of course, just noting how it helped her to step back a little and let the client lead.
Yep that’s exactly it Amber, I think it helps us get out of the way of the process sometimes! And yes, sometimes doing less is absolutely what’s called for, but I’ve found it’s not the only answer. Thanks so much for your comments and for sharing this piece 😊
Everything about this, yes. Ever since I started doing IFS (in my own therapy and with clients), I’ve started being in my body so much more. I don’t need to show up differently than I am (and if I can’t shake the feeling that I do, I may actually be too sick, tired or depleted to offer space). This was a HUGE shift.
The yoga pose of “knocking on heavens door” is one of my absolute favorites after a day of sessions.
That’s so good to hear Kaitlyn. My experience is similar, ever since I started learning about and practicing somatic work and yoga. The body really is a pivotal shift for Western Psychology and its traditional focus on the mind in isolation! Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts 😊
I related to this a lot. I am a mental health peer worker, and the vulnerability of not being perfect or all sorted provides the basis of our connections with those we work with. But yes, staying highly attuned to yourself is key. I haven't burnt out yet, and hope I never do.
Thanks so much for sharing your experiences Harriet. I don’t believe burnout is inevitable in this type of work, I do think how we show up and practice self-care is crucial 😊
You told the truth. When we hurt, when it's not our day, we need less effort to perform and pretend.
There are times when I come home depleted, my body just a shell of itself, and I relax by upping the volume with exciting videos.
The result is that I later feel even worse.
I have tried embracing the soft side by listening to love songs while maintaining a sitting squat for a long time. It has soothed my pain so remarkably that it almost disappears. Isn't that amazing?
That’s a beautiful discovery Yannis. Yes, I’ve come to believe that the harder things are, the more we need to soften 😊 Thanks so much for sharing your experiences here.
This is beautiful writing! Burnout is a hidden epidemic as I see it. But you brought some tenderness, reality and soothing energy with your words to something that is sadly becoming more prevalent these days. I created some affirmation cards to help with burnout recovery and emotional support, made with love and care during my intentional time out 💝
Oh thank you so much for the lovely feedback Anney. Yes, I agree it is a hidden epidemic. And it sounds like you have created a fabulous resource. It's nice to 'meet' you here 😊
I can 100% relate to this. I am a therapist with fibromyalgia and have had to cut work back due to pain. I notice tension and pain in my body when I am doing too much. I often take walks to regather my energy or stretch after my sessions. I also notice that I will take deep breaths when I'm in a session and bring my mind into my body. It's interesting to me how many female therapists have autoimmune conditions - vicarious trauma is stored in our bodies if we aren't careful! Thanks for sharing x
Yes absolutely. Though perhaps the trauma was there already for some of us and that's why we were drawn to the profession... Thanks for your comments Samantha, I'm glad to hear it resonated with your experience.
I remember when Emily Nagoski wrote Burnout— and how she described stress in the body - and how much we need reconnection in our lives in order to combat it. As a therapist & long time yogi myself, I find myself connecting to my breath in every session— and this connects me to Self energy. Practicing IFS has also helped me be aware of my body even more. So yes to walks after sessions (even just to the bathroom)— and oh my gosh, yes to being outside in nature on the daily, as another way to reinvigorate ourselves.
This whole essay felt like a balm to my soul tonight.
I’m in the middle of packing up my home and staring down a week full of clients (I’m an eating disorder dietitian). I am running on empty. This was so lovely and cozy to read and gave me good ideas to tend to myself in small ways this week; thank you 🙏🏻
I integrate IFS into my counseling and I find I “see” my clients world in my minds eye as they describe what’s happening inside. I’ve started to make an “sss” sound on an exhale after sessions and let the mental image be pushed out with my breath. I may need to integrate some sort of energetic boundary during sessions, too, but returning to my own mind’s picture at the end of session has left me feeling grounded and almost refreshed.
Oh I love that Staci and may borrow it 😀 I'm glad to hear this piece was useful. Good luck with your move. So challenging to work in the midst of that!
Thanks for sharing this! I published a piece on burnout last week too - something must be in the water…
I took an entire week of PTO to stay home and practice self care. 10/10 recommend.
Great self-care Christina! I may need to do the same sometime soon. Definitely something in the water....
Thank you for this timely reminder. I am a full time carer to my husband, and previously retired from a counselling and human services background where burn out was my end result. I was too busy trying to keep up with an ever increasing workload from an organisation more concerned with dollars than people to notice how impacted I was. And now I can feel, at times, those little niggles of exhaustion and overwhelm appearing in my home life, caring for my loved one, and it’s confronting. Your article reminded me of the importance of being in my body, noticing and honouring rather than rushing to keep the next ball in the air. Exhaling now
Wonderful. I'm glad to hear it had that effect. Exhaling along with you 😊
I really appreciate this perspective on burn out. I usually just think of “doing too much” but this way of looking at it allows for so much more flexibility and cleans greater ability to relax and not burn out — to release all that has built up! 💙
Thank you so much - yes, I think it's so much more nuanced than just 'doing too much' (although of course that can be a factor too). Thanks for your comments.
As a sensitive and embodied therapist too, during my years of practice I found these gifts to be so helpful to clients as no doubt like you I was highly attuned. But it also meant it was hard not to take on some of their pain into my own body as that's what's happens with attunement. Like you I needed to shake or stroke after when clients carried trauma.
A few years in I started to change my clothes as a further symbolic boundary so I had clothes for therapy and other clothes for the rest of my time! It did help to have that further separation.
But I did still get burned out, never to the degree of loosing my compassion - that's the worst case scenario to have a non-compassionate therapist and sadly I have met some.
Lovely writing. 🙏🏻
Thanks Kate, for reading and for sharing your experiences. I'm sorry to hear you experienced burnout. It is understandable in this field, and sounds like you practiced great self-care by pivoting into the world of writing ❤
It wasn’t full burnout fortunately but I did reduce my client intake for a while. I had to stop in 2021 as I developed long Covid - I wasn’t able to concentrate or remember anything so I stopped - not very therapeutic! So I started writing. ☺️✨
I do appreciate that aspect of self-employment - the ability to increase or reduce my client load depending on my personal needs at any given time. And I definitely choose to see less people than some other therapists I know!
I know some treat clients like numbers on a spreadsheet sadly 😕
This is a powerful reminder. Thank you!
Thanks so much Mary. I'm glad to hear it resonated with you 😊
So much wisdom here 💕
Thanks so much Lucy 🙏
A great reminder thanks Vicki. Often when we are feeling that way our clients can be too especially as we approach mid-winter.
So true Jan. Thanks for your comments 😊
Thank you for this, Dr. Vicki. I work as a hospice chaplain and you put into words so much of what I've learned about how to be okay day in and day out. I will return to this essay on the days when I need someone else to remind me to dance, touch the ground, breathe, and show up authentically to my patients.
Thank you so much for your comments. It’s lovely to hear that it resonated with your experience 😊
This is a great lens on burnout Vicki; giving us a different way to care for ourselves other than just decreasing the work (which obviously helps sometimes but it’s nice to have many tools).
Something you said reminded me of a professor I had who said she did her best therapy when she was just a little sick…well enough to show up, but lower energy. She wasn’t recommending it of course, just noting how it helped her to step back a little and let the client lead.
Yep that’s exactly it Amber, I think it helps us get out of the way of the process sometimes! And yes, sometimes doing less is absolutely what’s called for, but I’ve found it’s not the only answer. Thanks so much for your comments and for sharing this piece 😊
Everything about this, yes. Ever since I started doing IFS (in my own therapy and with clients), I’ve started being in my body so much more. I don’t need to show up differently than I am (and if I can’t shake the feeling that I do, I may actually be too sick, tired or depleted to offer space). This was a HUGE shift.
The yoga pose of “knocking on heavens door” is one of my absolute favorites after a day of sessions.
That’s so good to hear Kaitlyn. My experience is similar, ever since I started learning about and practicing somatic work and yoga. The body really is a pivotal shift for Western Psychology and its traditional focus on the mind in isolation! Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts 😊
I related to this a lot. I am a mental health peer worker, and the vulnerability of not being perfect or all sorted provides the basis of our connections with those we work with. But yes, staying highly attuned to yourself is key. I haven't burnt out yet, and hope I never do.
Thanks for writing about this so clearly.
Thanks so much for sharing your experiences Harriet. I don’t believe burnout is inevitable in this type of work, I do think how we show up and practice self-care is crucial 😊
Hi Vicki,
You told the truth. When we hurt, when it's not our day, we need less effort to perform and pretend.
There are times when I come home depleted, my body just a shell of itself, and I relax by upping the volume with exciting videos.
The result is that I later feel even worse.
I have tried embracing the soft side by listening to love songs while maintaining a sitting squat for a long time. It has soothed my pain so remarkably that it almost disappears. Isn't that amazing?
That’s a beautiful discovery Yannis. Yes, I’ve come to believe that the harder things are, the more we need to soften 😊 Thanks so much for sharing your experiences here.
This is beautiful writing! Burnout is a hidden epidemic as I see it. But you brought some tenderness, reality and soothing energy with your words to something that is sadly becoming more prevalent these days. I created some affirmation cards to help with burnout recovery and emotional support, made with love and care during my intentional time out 💝
Oh thank you so much for the lovely feedback Anney. Yes, I agree it is a hidden epidemic. And it sounds like you have created a fabulous resource. It's nice to 'meet' you here 😊
Likewise Vicki and thank you ☺️
I can 100% relate to this. I am a therapist with fibromyalgia and have had to cut work back due to pain. I notice tension and pain in my body when I am doing too much. I often take walks to regather my energy or stretch after my sessions. I also notice that I will take deep breaths when I'm in a session and bring my mind into my body. It's interesting to me how many female therapists have autoimmune conditions - vicarious trauma is stored in our bodies if we aren't careful! Thanks for sharing x
Yes absolutely. Though perhaps the trauma was there already for some of us and that's why we were drawn to the profession... Thanks for your comments Samantha, I'm glad to hear it resonated with your experience.
I remember when Emily Nagoski wrote Burnout— and how she described stress in the body - and how much we need reconnection in our lives in order to combat it. As a therapist & long time yogi myself, I find myself connecting to my breath in every session— and this connects me to Self energy. Practicing IFS has also helped me be aware of my body even more. So yes to walks after sessions (even just to the bathroom)— and oh my gosh, yes to being outside in nature on the daily, as another way to reinvigorate ourselves.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts Heidi. It sounds like we have lots in common - IFS and yoga have both been game-changers in my practice 😊
yes, absolute game changers :-)