21 Comments
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Deborah Yates's avatar

Another wonderful piece, Vicki, filled with bravery and passion for life. Thanks so much for finding the courage to share your thoughts and feelings with the world. You've made a difference to the lives of many clients and now you're turbocharging that.

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Dr Vicki Connop's avatar

Thanks so much Deborah, really appreciate all of your support with this new venture! 😊

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Ingrid Nagl's avatar

Historically I have thrown myself into the world with a huge hunger for life and often taken risks on the edge of dangerous. Over time l have learnt to be more conscious and mindful of discerning when fear can be a useful gauge for danger and when it is getting in the way of sharing my gifts with the world. Navigating these edges is a skill, and I am impressed with how you are crossing the bridge from prioritising comfort to sharing yourself courageously. Very inspiring! Thank you!

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Dr Vicki Connop's avatar

Thanks for sharing that Ingrid, it's great to hear your experience. In that regard we are probably opposites as I've always tended to err on the side of caution! Finding the delicate balance between the two poles is probably key 😊

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Alan Kemp's avatar

You are very brave Vicki. Your writing opens up a whole new experience for yourself and others. Thank you for sharing 🙏 Judy

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Dr Vicki Connop's avatar

Thanks Judy, yes it does feel a bit vulnerable to write about, but I also trust that selective self-disclosure can be helpful to other people, and I know I have benefitted a lot when others have done that - those lightbulb moments when we realise it's not just us are very powerful!

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Steve Robinson's avatar

Great piece Vicki, simultaneously sharing some wisdom and demonstrating it at the same time! As someone who’s been studying and performing Improv for the past 7 years, I’m well aware of the parts of me that want to run for the hills! It would be easier to never perform again, but the upside of having to regularly work that muscle is that change in “real life” never feels that scary or insurmountable.

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Dr Vicki Connop's avatar

Thanks Steve. Big respect to you guys who perform improv - that is Jedi level creativity and vulnerability! What a wonderful practice for life 😊 This is my version of improv - showing up every fortnight, not knowing what the heck I'm gonna write!

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Nina Graue's avatar

I love witnessing someone's vulnerability and sharing! It takes courage and heart to put yourself out there for the whole world to see, but the rewards outweigh the downfalls, in my opinion. As I get older, I find that seeking authenticity is at the forefront of my mind. I like hearing about how others find their own selves down life's road. So, thank you, for being one of those humans. I'm here for it.

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Dr Vicki Connop's avatar

Oh thank you so much Nina. I know I value those qualities so much in others too. The world needs more vulnerability and authenticity ❤️

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Kristi Koeter's avatar

You've perfectly encapsulated how I feel every time I hit publish on Substack. I love the tip you shared about engaging the inner voice and acknowledging its' concerns. I think that's key.

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Dr Vicki Connop's avatar

Thanks Kristi, I'm so glad to hear it resonated with you 😊

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Kate's avatar

Another great piece Vicki 👏. Brave and vulnerable and always open to feeling the fear and doing it anyway. I love the part about doing it as a sacred practice. Makes anything we do so much more surrendered and authentic, and I hear this in your words.

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Dr Vicki Connop's avatar

Thank you Kate 😊 Yes, if only we could approach the whole of life as a sacred practice!

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Julie Fontes's avatar

The great thing about getting older is the realization that it's the not sharing that's the painful thing, even though your fear would have you believe that playing it safe will keep you alive. Those critique videos sound excruciating.

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Dr Vicki Connop's avatar

Yes! So true. With age comes some perspective.... thank goodness 😄

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Sarah Hartley's avatar

I’ve been an entrepreneur for almost 9 years now and I still haven’t quite gotten used to the idea of building something/writing something/designing something for public consumption and knowing that it may not be received well. And don’t even get me started on the numbers and how deeply they’ve affected me. I’ve worked really hard the last couple years to change this and remember numbers say nothing about me as a person.

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Dr Vicki Connop's avatar

Yes - the numbers! Ugh. They are like a kind of torture device. I am continually reminding myself to let them go and focus on the creativity and I continually find myself drawn back to checking and rechecking them as if my self-worth depends on them. I also know they will never be enough - when I reached 50 subscribers, I longed for 100, when I reached 300 I longed for 500. There is no end to this moving goalpost! And it's so deeply human that we seek these glimmers of validation ❤️ Thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts Sarah.

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Liz Medford - lizexplores.com's avatar

Great peace, Vicki! I can relate to obsessing about that “whole page of statistics on which you can hang your self-worth – numbers of views, likes, comments, shares, subscribers.” I also tend to do better when I can post and then move on with my day.

I don’t think I realized you were trained in IFS! Is that the primary mode of therapy you use? I’ve been using IFS in my coaching practice for four years. I attended the IFS conference in Denver last month; were you there?

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Dr Vicki Connop's avatar

Thanks Liz. I use a lot of IFS, along with EMDR and somatic psychology. I'm based in New Zealand, so no, I wasn't at the conference but nice to meet a fellow IFS practitioner here on Substack 😊

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Liz Medford - lizexplores.com's avatar

That would be a long trip! Yes, nice to connect with a fellow IFSer. It’s such a powerful tool.

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