This makes so much sense, Vicki. I was nodding along the whole way, thinking: our bodies are so miraculous and so wise. If only we can remember to trust them, give them what they need, not numb out their signals... They know our limits and are deeply attuned to how those limits shift and change. You capture this so beautifully here. ❤
“Instead of dissociating from our emotions, we can learn to meet them in the body…” god I love that phrasing, meet them in the body. This was gorgeous.
Awesome article, I'm very prone to dissociation, and it happens alot in the therapy room. How do you expand a client's window of tolerance safely? My therapist always brings me back as soon as it happens and the last part of the session is always spent discussing topics she knows she won't loose me with. It's hard to know how to expand a tolerance window when dissociating occurs alot.
Thanks so much for your comments and question. Expanding the window of tolerance takes time. Slowing down and tracking when it happens is helpful (i.e. identifying triggers). Then you can work at the edges of the window, and gently encourage curiosity with what's happening. Personally I like to create anchors of safety in the room (e.g. blankets, cushions, sensory objects) that we can return to to come back into presence. But there are many tools and approaches that can help.
Dr. Vicki, I have a Masters degree in Education in Rehabilitation Counseling. I did therapy for a variety of populations. I never heard disassociation explained nor the value of it. If you answer replies I’d like to ask you: I get sleepy in the afternoons and evenings I nod off. I can’t take a nap. Could this be disassociation? There’s not much stress in the house. Some. I’m not looking for a diagnosis, just a n opinion if it’s possible.
Hi Judi, thanks for your question. Yes, it could be dissociation, or it could be plain old tiredness - it's hard to know without more context. You could be curious about when it arises, and what's happening in the period before. I find some of us who live in fight/flight a lot of the time can shift into dissociation when we are exhausted and need to check out from being hypervigilant. Just some thoughts. Deb Dana's work is also very helpful if you're wanting to investigate more.
Thank you for breaking down the stigma of dissociation. And for connecting it to the metaphysical aspects of yoga. We are truly amazing creatures and I’m in awe of how people can survive the worst of experiences and go on to recover.
Vicki, What a fantastic explanation of dissociation. You've given me so much to think about. I always placed myself on the hypervigilant end of the trauma spectrum, but maybe there are some dissociative tendencies, too. Thank you.
Thank you Sandra. Yes, I have definitely had both of these tendencies at times too. I think perhaps the brain switches to dissociation sometimes to escape the endless hypervigilance!
I very much appreciated this mindful explanation. It’s hard to find out that the strategies that kept us safe as children turn out to be detrimental (in excess) as adults. But all we can do is slowly and mindfully chip away at them
There is an awareness anyone can access, placing their point of view just behind and above their physical body. Once you do so, you can see over one shoulder or the other, or you can see the part atop your head, and you know where you are positioned. From there, you are detached enough to be able to simply observe, rather than take things personally. Detach and observe. These two skills have saved me from needing to dissociate. I am not my body. No one is. But the illusion is so convincing that it is hard to remember. Detach and observe. Set yourself free. Return to your calm serene center. Aaaaahhhhh.....
Thank you for sharing, Vicki. I’m close to completing my therapy internship for my LPC, and I appreciate that I can learn from experienced therapists on this medium! I really appreciate your empathy-driven & evidence-based perspective on dissociation. It reminds me of the IFS/parts work that I’ve done in my own therapy. Will definitely be reading more of your work!
Oh thank you Ava, that is lovely feedback to hear. And yes IFS parts work has been hugely helpful in giving us a language to talk about these issues differently.
Having worked with children in cases of abuse and neglect, I learned early on not to pathologize dissociation but to observe how it was operating in their lives.
What a fantastic post. I lived with CPTSD for decades before finding a way to heal this, and then slowly slowly I met the hidden parts of myself, I came home. This is such a compassionate and wise post.
Especially the part where you say "dissociation gets to stay in the toolbox." We're not trying to eradicate it because it's a tool, and has it's place when we need it. We get to expand the toolbox by adding other tools alongside it that we might get to reach for instead as we grow.
Coming back to the body has been a process for me, especially since getting sober. Listening to the cues my body is giving me in any given moment is a practice and I feel like that muscle is starting to get stronger and stronger. I'm developing new tools and dissociation steps in a lot less than it used to.
Thanks Kaitlyn. Yes, I think that's really important - we don't have to get rid of any parts of ourselves, the work is really to love all our parts, recognise why they've been important, or what they helped us to survive, and keep expanding our capacities. I'm glad it resonated with your experience 😊
This was so beautifully written! I do believe that dissociation deserves our respect and reverence. It has served so many of my clients. Thanks for helping me connect it to polyvagal theory! 🩵 sending to a few clients to read so they too can find ways to feel less shame around this survival mechanism.
Thank you for this excellent essay Vicki. It was very helpful to be able to see my own tendencies in some of these coping skills. The word embody resonated deeply and has me questioning what it is I have been embodying recently and the direction I want to go.
This makes so much sense, Vicki. I was nodding along the whole way, thinking: our bodies are so miraculous and so wise. If only we can remember to trust them, give them what they need, not numb out their signals... They know our limits and are deeply attuned to how those limits shift and change. You capture this so beautifully here. ❤
Thanks so much Dana, really appreciate your feedback, and yes - if only we appreciated the wisdom of the body much more 😊
“Instead of dissociating from our emotions, we can learn to meet them in the body…” god I love that phrasing, meet them in the body. This was gorgeous.
Aw thanks so much Erin ❤
Awesome article, I'm very prone to dissociation, and it happens alot in the therapy room. How do you expand a client's window of tolerance safely? My therapist always brings me back as soon as it happens and the last part of the session is always spent discussing topics she knows she won't loose me with. It's hard to know how to expand a tolerance window when dissociating occurs alot.
Thanks so much for your comments and question. Expanding the window of tolerance takes time. Slowing down and tracking when it happens is helpful (i.e. identifying triggers). Then you can work at the edges of the window, and gently encourage curiosity with what's happening. Personally I like to create anchors of safety in the room (e.g. blankets, cushions, sensory objects) that we can return to to come back into presence. But there are many tools and approaches that can help.
Dr. Vicki, I have a Masters degree in Education in Rehabilitation Counseling. I did therapy for a variety of populations. I never heard disassociation explained nor the value of it. If you answer replies I’d like to ask you: I get sleepy in the afternoons and evenings I nod off. I can’t take a nap. Could this be disassociation? There’s not much stress in the house. Some. I’m not looking for a diagnosis, just a n opinion if it’s possible.
Hi Judi, thanks for your question. Yes, it could be dissociation, or it could be plain old tiredness - it's hard to know without more context. You could be curious about when it arises, and what's happening in the period before. I find some of us who live in fight/flight a lot of the time can shift into dissociation when we are exhausted and need to check out from being hypervigilant. Just some thoughts. Deb Dana's work is also very helpful if you're wanting to investigate more.
Thank you for breaking down the stigma of dissociation. And for connecting it to the metaphysical aspects of yoga. We are truly amazing creatures and I’m in awe of how people can survive the worst of experiences and go on to recover.
Yes, awe is the word Kelsey. What amazing capacities we have for survival 😊
Vicki, What a fantastic explanation of dissociation. You've given me so much to think about. I always placed myself on the hypervigilant end of the trauma spectrum, but maybe there are some dissociative tendencies, too. Thank you.
Thank you Sandra. Yes, I have definitely had both of these tendencies at times too. I think perhaps the brain switches to dissociation sometimes to escape the endless hypervigilance!
Thanks for explaining it so clearly
Thank you Miranda 😊
Love this - and you explain the polyvagal nervous system in a way that totally make sense to me! Another brilliant piece!
Thanks so much Paul, I appreciate the feedback 😊
I very much appreciated this mindful explanation. It’s hard to find out that the strategies that kept us safe as children turn out to be detrimental (in excess) as adults. But all we can do is slowly and mindfully chip away at them
Yes, and maintain appreciation for their vital role in keeping us safe. Thanks so much for commenting 😊
There is an awareness anyone can access, placing their point of view just behind and above their physical body. Once you do so, you can see over one shoulder or the other, or you can see the part atop your head, and you know where you are positioned. From there, you are detached enough to be able to simply observe, rather than take things personally. Detach and observe. These two skills have saved me from needing to dissociate. I am not my body. No one is. But the illusion is so convincing that it is hard to remember. Detach and observe. Set yourself free. Return to your calm serene center. Aaaaahhhhh.....
Oh I love that Trisha. I haven’t tried approaching it that way, but may borrow your strategy 😊
Thank you for sharing, Vicki. I’m close to completing my therapy internship for my LPC, and I appreciate that I can learn from experienced therapists on this medium! I really appreciate your empathy-driven & evidence-based perspective on dissociation. It reminds me of the IFS/parts work that I’ve done in my own therapy. Will definitely be reading more of your work!
Oh thank you Ava, that is lovely feedback to hear. And yes IFS parts work has been hugely helpful in giving us a language to talk about these issues differently.
Having worked with children in cases of abuse and neglect, I learned early on not to pathologize dissociation but to observe how it was operating in their lives.
Yes, so important to stay curious. Everything makes sense when we understand enough of the back story. Thanks for commenting.
I think you meant to stay curious?
Oops haha yes I did! 🙃
What a fantastic post. I lived with CPTSD for decades before finding a way to heal this, and then slowly slowly I met the hidden parts of myself, I came home. This is such a compassionate and wise post.
Thank you so much Lucy, your words mean a lot. I'm glad to hear this resonated with your experience ❤️
Love this, Vicki.
Especially the part where you say "dissociation gets to stay in the toolbox." We're not trying to eradicate it because it's a tool, and has it's place when we need it. We get to expand the toolbox by adding other tools alongside it that we might get to reach for instead as we grow.
Coming back to the body has been a process for me, especially since getting sober. Listening to the cues my body is giving me in any given moment is a practice and I feel like that muscle is starting to get stronger and stronger. I'm developing new tools and dissociation steps in a lot less than it used to.
Thanks Kaitlyn. Yes, I think that's really important - we don't have to get rid of any parts of ourselves, the work is really to love all our parts, recognise why they've been important, or what they helped us to survive, and keep expanding our capacities. I'm glad it resonated with your experience 😊
This was so beautifully written! I do believe that dissociation deserves our respect and reverence. It has served so many of my clients. Thanks for helping me connect it to polyvagal theory! 🩵 sending to a few clients to read so they too can find ways to feel less shame around this survival mechanism.
Thanks Lindsey, I'm glad to hear it was useful, and happy to hear you plan to send it to your clients. Appreciate your support here, as ever 😊
Thank you for this excellent essay Vicki. It was very helpful to be able to see my own tendencies in some of these coping skills. The word embody resonated deeply and has me questioning what it is I have been embodying recently and the direction I want to go.
Thanks for your kind comments Donna. Yes embody, is such a helpful, juicy word 😊