I agree it's not the whole solution, but it's such a huge part of it though. Imagine if everyone did the work on their inner selves, imagine what a world that would be. I think it's a powerful message, because we might feel hopeless at times and as if the individual can't do much, but you've given us something that every single person can do.
Thank you Sophie. Yes, it feels hopeful to me to focus on the small parts we can influence and to know that we are each part of the solution in some way.
Thank you Vicki, I have been pondering this for some time myself; feeling somewhat swamped and silenced by the many conflicted voices out there, it can feel like I have nothing valuable to say or contribute in terms of making a difference to situation of collective crises and trauma we are in. I tend to disregard the constant inner work required to keep my nervous system in ventral vagal state so that I can be in relationship without reacting defensively, and my outer work as a therapist, helping others to do the same. It can feel ineffective and insufficient in the midst of the chaos and crises and yet, I agree, our state of being is an essential part and creates the foundation for global change. I appreciate the reminder!
Thanks for your comments Ingrid. Yes, I agree, our small piece can feel insufficient and inadequate. And yet, if each of us tends to our little tiny corner, the collective is influenced, slowly and incrementally. I'm glad it resonated with you.
Beautiful reflection and some very poignant points about how trauma plays out on the collective level. You’re so right that trauma work and healthcare in general is a scarce resource, and that has to change. It took me a long time to hunt down and find the right trauma based psychology for me, and it comes at a significant cost. But the results are life changing. I’d argue it’s a brave choice to willingly sit and look all those patterns and automatic reactivity in the eye and know (or hope?) there is something better on the other side. I’d also say your gift is writing - your newsletter is one of my favorites 🌈
Aw Kelsey, thank you for that lovely feedback 😊 I'm so glad to hear this resonates with you, and yes, it's courageous and lifechanging work indeed. Thanks for being here.
Lovely piece, thank you as always. I remember, less than a year ago coming across Stanley Rosenberg's book about the vagus nerve and doing the exercises, I was blown away by the immediate effects of calm and have since been steadily progressing in my own system regulation and my sons comment that I am like a different person. Are you familiar with the Gupta Program? It's worth looking at. I agree that we can heal the world by working on ourselves, the ripple effect.
Oh thank you for sharing that. Yes, nervous system work is powerful..... sometimes what we imagine are personality traits turn out to be a dysregulated system!
Thank you Vicki for this eloquent description of what I have been reminding myself of for sometime. Particularly, when I look at all that is going on in the world. When each of us does our own healing we have the resources to bring our gifts more fully to the world. I work with parents who have children with an eating disorder, and most, understandably resist their own inner work, wanting to know own how to make their child better. I believe that everything has to start with us.
This reminds me of Pablo Picasso's words: The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away. Helping with the healing of this global trauma one person at a time is something we can all do. All you need to do is reach out to another human, say I am here, and then be there. Thank you Vicki ❤️
Beautiful Vicki. Thank you for stating this so clearly. I also agree that, in the face of all that’s happening, none of us needs to do it all. But we can all contribute in a way that builds on our personal strengths and resources, and do more of that.
Thank you for this reminder Vicki. I often feel overwhelmed and paralysed by feeling I have to do so much to make a difference, and then I realise that the work I do to support people in sobriety IS making a difference and also that it is also enough, more than enough, for each of us to be kind and loving to ourselves, our friends, family and community - that is enough, that makes a difference.
Also thank you for the reminder that absolutely this support should be available to more people, I absolutely agree. x
Thanks Ellie, I guess we need to hold the paradox that it is enough, and at the same time just a drop in the ocean. But the ocean is made up of drops. I'm glad it resonated with you.
This message feels so true and so needed, Vicki. Something I’ve been asking myself a lot over the past few months is how, through my words and way of being in the world, I might be contributing to the very thing I’m railing against. And the only way I know how to shift that is through consistent, daily, ongoing reflection and practice. What others do is beyond my control; this thing, though, is my responsibility and no doubt ripples outwards.
Yes, exactly. It's such an important question. So easy to point the finger at what's wrong 'out there', but the work we can actually do, and the difference we can actually make, starts much closer to home. Thanks for getting it Dana, and for your thoughtful comments.
Vicki, I'm deeply moved by this piece. I'm committed to healing my trauma and becoming a more peaceful, understanding, and kind person. If more people do this, it can really make a difference.
Thank you Sandra, I'm so happy to hear it moved you. Yes, it's one piece of the puzzle that each of us can take responsibility for - tending our own backyard, so to speak 😊
Yyyyyyeeeeeessssssssssss!!! Amen, Dr. Vicki!! And well done! I just got done adding some of these very same thoughts to some writing of my own, so I could hardly believe my eyes when I saw the subject matter of your post. I have been thinking about and talking with others, too, about hypervigilance a lot, of late. Those obvious and not so obvious instances - insidious, as you so aptly put it. Those are almost worse. Ugh.
"On Being" with Krista Tippett has some wonderful podcasts that directly talk about Porges' work and are SO lovely to listen to for inspiration and healing purposes!! If nothing else, to know that us light workers and lovers are not alone and that we ARE doing the work starting with ourselves.
I am bowing to you, girlfriend, in gratitude and reverence! XO
Aw thanks Danielle, I'm so glad it spoke to you, and look forward to reading your piece too when it's published. I believe we need many different voices at this point in history when authoritarianism is on the rise. Thanks for being here.
Interestingly I did some training with Stephen Porges recently and it was fascinating to hear his analysis of Putin and the role of his nervous system response in his leadership style.
Wow! I'll bet that was a riveting training!! Very timely and applicable to present day and how all that is playing out in real time. Seeing and hearing it applied to someone so present in everyone's minds must have been something! I can't imagine any better use of the energy from that training than to take to the keyboard!! Thanks for sharing!! XO
Thank you, Vicki, for putting this all into words. As a somatic experiencing psychotherapist, I deeply appreciate the ways in which you talk about trauma and its impact on us individually and collectively. Thank you for making this connection. And you make it accessible! The work we do as therapists is sacred. It's my hope, too, that by supporting one person's growth, healing, and evolution, they go out into the world with a more regulated nervous system, with a greater capacity to respond appropriately to whatever they encounter, and their presence impacts those around them. This is how we heal.
I agree it's not the whole solution, but it's such a huge part of it though. Imagine if everyone did the work on their inner selves, imagine what a world that would be. I think it's a powerful message, because we might feel hopeless at times and as if the individual can't do much, but you've given us something that every single person can do.
Thank you Sophie. Yes, it feels hopeful to me to focus on the small parts we can influence and to know that we are each part of the solution in some way.
Thank you Vicki, I have been pondering this for some time myself; feeling somewhat swamped and silenced by the many conflicted voices out there, it can feel like I have nothing valuable to say or contribute in terms of making a difference to situation of collective crises and trauma we are in. I tend to disregard the constant inner work required to keep my nervous system in ventral vagal state so that I can be in relationship without reacting defensively, and my outer work as a therapist, helping others to do the same. It can feel ineffective and insufficient in the midst of the chaos and crises and yet, I agree, our state of being is an essential part and creates the foundation for global change. I appreciate the reminder!
Thanks for your comments Ingrid. Yes, I agree, our small piece can feel insufficient and inadequate. And yet, if each of us tends to our little tiny corner, the collective is influenced, slowly and incrementally. I'm glad it resonated with you.
Beautiful reflection and some very poignant points about how trauma plays out on the collective level. You’re so right that trauma work and healthcare in general is a scarce resource, and that has to change. It took me a long time to hunt down and find the right trauma based psychology for me, and it comes at a significant cost. But the results are life changing. I’d argue it’s a brave choice to willingly sit and look all those patterns and automatic reactivity in the eye and know (or hope?) there is something better on the other side. I’d also say your gift is writing - your newsletter is one of my favorites 🌈
Aw Kelsey, thank you for that lovely feedback 😊 I'm so glad to hear this resonates with you, and yes, it's courageous and lifechanging work indeed. Thanks for being here.
What a wise and thoughtful post 🙏🏽💕
Thank you Lucy 🙏
Lovely piece, thank you as always. I remember, less than a year ago coming across Stanley Rosenberg's book about the vagus nerve and doing the exercises, I was blown away by the immediate effects of calm and have since been steadily progressing in my own system regulation and my sons comment that I am like a different person. Are you familiar with the Gupta Program? It's worth looking at. I agree that we can heal the world by working on ourselves, the ripple effect.
Oh thank you for sharing that. Yes, nervous system work is powerful..... sometimes what we imagine are personality traits turn out to be a dysregulated system!
As usual Vicki, when I read your writings they are a gift. Thank you 🙏 x
Aw. Thank you my dear, your words mean a lot ❤️
Thank you Vicki for this eloquent description of what I have been reminding myself of for sometime. Particularly, when I look at all that is going on in the world. When each of us does our own healing we have the resources to bring our gifts more fully to the world. I work with parents who have children with an eating disorder, and most, understandably resist their own inner work, wanting to know own how to make their child better. I believe that everything has to start with us.
Yes I agree Ruth. It's the only piece of the puzzle we have any real influence over. Thanks for your comments, I'm glad it resonated with you
This reminds me of Pablo Picasso's words: The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away. Helping with the healing of this global trauma one person at a time is something we can all do. All you need to do is reach out to another human, say I am here, and then be there. Thank you Vicki ❤️
Thank you Danni, I love that quote 😍
Beautiful Vicki. Thank you for stating this so clearly. I also agree that, in the face of all that’s happening, none of us needs to do it all. But we can all contribute in a way that builds on our personal strengths and resources, and do more of that.
Exactly. It makes the idea of contributing seem much more possible and less overwhelming. Thanks for your comments Amber, and for sharing this piece 😊
Yes, yes and yes! We need to stop thinking of trauma as an individual problem.
Absolutely Adina 😊
Thank you for this reminder Vicki. I often feel overwhelmed and paralysed by feeling I have to do so much to make a difference, and then I realise that the work I do to support people in sobriety IS making a difference and also that it is also enough, more than enough, for each of us to be kind and loving to ourselves, our friends, family and community - that is enough, that makes a difference.
Also thank you for the reminder that absolutely this support should be available to more people, I absolutely agree. x
Thanks Ellie, I guess we need to hold the paradox that it is enough, and at the same time just a drop in the ocean. But the ocean is made up of drops. I'm glad it resonated with you.
Love this Vicki, and agree 💯. Thank you for your beautiful reflections 💜
Thanks so much Jackie 😊
This message feels so true and so needed, Vicki. Something I’ve been asking myself a lot over the past few months is how, through my words and way of being in the world, I might be contributing to the very thing I’m railing against. And the only way I know how to shift that is through consistent, daily, ongoing reflection and practice. What others do is beyond my control; this thing, though, is my responsibility and no doubt ripples outwards.
Yes, exactly. It's such an important question. So easy to point the finger at what's wrong 'out there', but the work we can actually do, and the difference we can actually make, starts much closer to home. Thanks for getting it Dana, and for your thoughtful comments.
Vicki, I'm deeply moved by this piece. I'm committed to healing my trauma and becoming a more peaceful, understanding, and kind person. If more people do this, it can really make a difference.
Thank you Sandra, I'm so happy to hear it moved you. Yes, it's one piece of the puzzle that each of us can take responsibility for - tending our own backyard, so to speak 😊
Yyyyyyeeeeeessssssssssss!!! Amen, Dr. Vicki!! And well done! I just got done adding some of these very same thoughts to some writing of my own, so I could hardly believe my eyes when I saw the subject matter of your post. I have been thinking about and talking with others, too, about hypervigilance a lot, of late. Those obvious and not so obvious instances - insidious, as you so aptly put it. Those are almost worse. Ugh.
"On Being" with Krista Tippett has some wonderful podcasts that directly talk about Porges' work and are SO lovely to listen to for inspiration and healing purposes!! If nothing else, to know that us light workers and lovers are not alone and that we ARE doing the work starting with ourselves.
I am bowing to you, girlfriend, in gratitude and reverence! XO
Aw thanks Danielle, I'm so glad it spoke to you, and look forward to reading your piece too when it's published. I believe we need many different voices at this point in history when authoritarianism is on the rise. Thanks for being here.
Interestingly I did some training with Stephen Porges recently and it was fascinating to hear his analysis of Putin and the role of his nervous system response in his leadership style.
Wow! I'll bet that was a riveting training!! Very timely and applicable to present day and how all that is playing out in real time. Seeing and hearing it applied to someone so present in everyone's minds must have been something! I can't imagine any better use of the energy from that training than to take to the keyboard!! Thanks for sharing!! XO
Thanks Danielle 🙏
Thank you, Vicki, for putting this all into words. As a somatic experiencing psychotherapist, I deeply appreciate the ways in which you talk about trauma and its impact on us individually and collectively. Thank you for making this connection. And you make it accessible! The work we do as therapists is sacred. It's my hope, too, that by supporting one person's growth, healing, and evolution, they go out into the world with a more regulated nervous system, with a greater capacity to respond appropriately to whatever they encounter, and their presence impacts those around them. This is how we heal.
That's it exactly Lisa, sacred work. Thank you for commenting and sharing your experience 😊