You mention the pattern of expansion and contraction. Wow! This is not familiar to me but I think I am in a similar pattern of contraction. Recognizing it anyway. And it's not comfortable. I feel I am yearning for a deeper connection with self. Any helpful tips?
Hi Darice, yes I agree, the contractions are rarely comfortable, but I've come to believe they are necessary at times (especially if we have over-extended ourselves in the expansion phase). The contraction is often an invitation to rest and regroup and I think the best approach is to go with it as far as you can, listen deeply to what your body is needing, and trust you will emerge out the other side when the timing is right. Take care, it's not easy work.
Your Christmas sounds so lovely, warm and authentic Vicki. Congratulations on your marriage, what a year! Wishing you all the best for 2025, so lovely to have found you on here! 🫶✨☺️
Happy New Year Vicki! May your year guide you through gentle lessons, many good times and easy growth (I thought I'd throw that last one in just to make you laugh🤣)
I know! The best Christmas colour scheme ❤💙 It’s been great to connect with you this year too Sophie - and maybe we get to do it in person sometime in 2025 😀
Thanks for sharing your knowledge and ideas—I love your writing style! Your quote, *"There is no need to push the river; it flows by itself,"* really resonates with me.
Christmas has always been a source of anxiety for me, as my family doesn’t get along well and rarely stays in touch throughout the year. Communication isn’t our strong suit, so I often end up sitting quietly, avoiding conflict. When the day ends without drama, I breathe a sigh of relief that another year is over.
This year, however, was remarkably calm. After Christmas day, I found myself tuning into what I truly wanted—time at home to just be myself. I indulged in daily massages, green juices, bush walks, and moments to read and reflect. It was so grounding.
I also spent time reflecting on the year—writing down highlights, what I loved, and what I want to repeat (or avoid) moving forward. Looking back through my photos jogged my memory and helped me recognize the magic in the year that I might have overlooked. It made setting intentions for the new year feel more natural and purposeful.
That's so great to hear Luci, love all that self-care you've been doing! Wishing you an easeful transition into the new year and thanks for sharing your experiences 😃
I've loved discovering your work this year Vicki, and am looking forward to reading even more in 2025. I hope you've had a lovely festive break, and a great New Year 💕
Great post. I was an orphan in London for 10 years and have share some sentiment with the post.
I think I've struggled with Christmas each year, dreading it without being able to put my finger on why. This Christmas, the fog lifted and I have greater awareness of around why. Lucky to have a great therapist to hand as I navigate that. Fantastic photos - super punchy contrast shot in glorious weather. Congratulations on your marriage and good luck for the year ahead.
Thank you for this comforting read, Vicki. I feel similarly with the holidays. It's been a long time since I've spent Christmas "at home" and it can be tough to watch it all happen from the sidelines. Sometimes I feel as though I'm missing out, but I'm also grateful to be living the life that feels right for me, even if it means missing out on the holidays.
Congratulations on your marriage!! What a big year 😍
I'm excited to roll into 2025. I feel more connected to myself than ever before, and with that I believe will come more opportunities to expand into a feeling of fullness. It feels as though I'm on the right track, even though I have no idea what's on the other end.
Thank you so much for sharing your writing, wisdom, and a window into your life this year, Vicki.
For me, too, the holidays carry a sense of displacement and loss. Christmas was my favourite holiday as a child...but I no longer celebrate it, really. I’ve only been "home for Christmas" a few times as an adult and ultimately chose to find relief from the pain of such homecomings by opting out. Still, I grieve what was lost because of that choice. Oh, to be human...through the ebbs and flows. ❤️
Uugh, yes, it's complex! The last time I went 'home for Christmas' (to roots and family) was 20 years ago. I've struggled with Christmas for most of my adult life, but at 51 I'm finally finding some peace with it.
Thanks so much for your support here this year Dana, it has been much appreciated 🙏❤️
Those photos! A the glory of the pohutukawa! Thanks Vicki. Your evolving Christmas sounds much more aligned with true spirit of Christmas and the pleasures of Summer Solstice
Thanks Sally. Makes a nice change from all the online winter scenes 😁 It's taken a long time to get used to Christmas in the summer, but I'm getting there!
I intend for it to align me with why I do what I do in the world, as an antidote to the fear and/or anxiety that I feel when I use my voice for change.
I am passionate about supporting change in people's hearts and minds so that they may feel more connected to themselves and then with each other. And my "niche passion", based on what my life has brought me, is to change the prevailing narrative around breast cancer.
Thank you for what you bring into my world, Vicki. Connecting with you has been a Substack gift in 2024. I wish you beauty and peace in 2025.
Thank you for your kind words Emma. I have very much enjoyed our connection here too 😀 I love your word PASSION and I love the work you're doing sharing your wisdom from your cancer journey. Wishing you a passion-filled year ahead ❤
As I've aged, I've grown more and more weary of the holiday season and longed for something different altogether. Something that feels more authentic and beautiful and warm and personal, you know? Last year, I had COVID during the holidays, so I never got around to decorating. I didn't again this year because I just didn't feel like it. No. I just said no. To the time and effort it takes to put up all the stuff, only to take it down again. I would rather dream up ways to zhush the spaces we have, to make them beautiful year round. That feels like time more well spent. Anyway, all that to say, I love your holiday tradition. In my mind, it is perfection. Time together is way more important than the food or the decorations or the gifts. We can and should be gifting our time and presence to our friends and loved ones.
I'm still thinking and reflecting deeply on this last year, so I don't have any words to share. Yet. Suddenly "open heart" popped into my head - I would like to keep an open heart, to whatever comes my way. XO
Thanks so much Danielle - and yes, I'm with you on the decorations. Fairy lights are about as far as it goes in our house, and I hate the idea of a tree being cut down just to die in my living room! Thanks for being here Danielle, I've really appreciated your presence and your thoughtful comments throughout the year, and I love those words that popped into your head 😊❤
You mention the pattern of expansion and contraction. Wow! This is not familiar to me but I think I am in a similar pattern of contraction. Recognizing it anyway. And it's not comfortable. I feel I am yearning for a deeper connection with self. Any helpful tips?
Hi Darice, yes I agree, the contractions are rarely comfortable, but I've come to believe they are necessary at times (especially if we have over-extended ourselves in the expansion phase). The contraction is often an invitation to rest and regroup and I think the best approach is to go with it as far as you can, listen deeply to what your body is needing, and trust you will emerge out the other side when the timing is right. Take care, it's not easy work.
Your Christmas sounds so lovely, warm and authentic Vicki. Congratulations on your marriage, what a year! Wishing you all the best for 2025, so lovely to have found you on here! 🫶✨☺️
Thank you Kate, and I hope you've had a gentle, easeful holiday period over there. It's lovely to connect with you here 😊
Happy New Year Vicki! May your year guide you through gentle lessons, many good times and easy growth (I thought I'd throw that last one in just to make you laugh🤣)
Lovely wishes, thanks Donna 😊 and wishing the same to you. And yes, may all the growth be easy 😂
I loved discovering your substack this year and reading your pieces, looking forward to way more in the future. Wishing you a lovely 2025.
And, isn't NZ stunning in summer, just love that beautiful Pohutukawa with the blue skies in the background ❤️
I know! The best Christmas colour scheme ❤💙 It’s been great to connect with you this year too Sophie - and maybe we get to do it in person sometime in 2025 😀
That would be even better! 😀
Hi Vicki,
Thanks for sharing your knowledge and ideas—I love your writing style! Your quote, *"There is no need to push the river; it flows by itself,"* really resonates with me.
Christmas has always been a source of anxiety for me, as my family doesn’t get along well and rarely stays in touch throughout the year. Communication isn’t our strong suit, so I often end up sitting quietly, avoiding conflict. When the day ends without drama, I breathe a sigh of relief that another year is over.
This year, however, was remarkably calm. After Christmas day, I found myself tuning into what I truly wanted—time at home to just be myself. I indulged in daily massages, green juices, bush walks, and moments to read and reflect. It was so grounding.
I also spent time reflecting on the year—writing down highlights, what I loved, and what I want to repeat (or avoid) moving forward. Looking back through my photos jogged my memory and helped me recognize the magic in the year that I might have overlooked. It made setting intentions for the new year feel more natural and purposeful.
Look forward to seeing you in 2025.
That's so great to hear Luci, love all that self-care you've been doing! Wishing you an easeful transition into the new year and thanks for sharing your experiences 😃
I've loved discovering your work this year Vicki, and am looking forward to reading even more in 2025. I hope you've had a lovely festive break, and a great New Year 💕
Thanks so much Clare, I've enjoyed connecting with you here this year 😀
Great post. I was an orphan in London for 10 years and have share some sentiment with the post.
I think I've struggled with Christmas each year, dreading it without being able to put my finger on why. This Christmas, the fog lifted and I have greater awareness of around why. Lucky to have a great therapist to hand as I navigate that. Fantastic photos - super punchy contrast shot in glorious weather. Congratulations on your marriage and good luck for the year ahead.
That's great to hear Stuart, may that fog continue to clear! Thanks for your kind comments 😊
Thank you for this comforting read, Vicki. I feel similarly with the holidays. It's been a long time since I've spent Christmas "at home" and it can be tough to watch it all happen from the sidelines. Sometimes I feel as though I'm missing out, but I'm also grateful to be living the life that feels right for me, even if it means missing out on the holidays.
Congratulations on your marriage!! What a big year 😍
I'm excited to roll into 2025. I feel more connected to myself than ever before, and with that I believe will come more opportunities to expand into a feeling of fullness. It feels as though I'm on the right track, even though I have no idea what's on the other end.
That's fabulous to hear Kaitlyn. I look forward to hearing more of how your year unfolds 😃
And yes, Christmas is definitely one of the trickier parts of the immigrant lifestyle 😏
Thank you so much for sharing your writing, wisdom, and a window into your life this year, Vicki.
For me, too, the holidays carry a sense of displacement and loss. Christmas was my favourite holiday as a child...but I no longer celebrate it, really. I’ve only been "home for Christmas" a few times as an adult and ultimately chose to find relief from the pain of such homecomings by opting out. Still, I grieve what was lost because of that choice. Oh, to be human...through the ebbs and flows. ❤️
Uugh, yes, it's complex! The last time I went 'home for Christmas' (to roots and family) was 20 years ago. I've struggled with Christmas for most of my adult life, but at 51 I'm finally finding some peace with it.
Thanks so much for your support here this year Dana, it has been much appreciated 🙏❤️
Those photos! A the glory of the pohutukawa! Thanks Vicki. Your evolving Christmas sounds much more aligned with true spirit of Christmas and the pleasures of Summer Solstice
Thanks Sally. Makes a nice change from all the online winter scenes 😁 It's taken a long time to get used to Christmas in the summer, but I'm getting there!
Happy New Year and cheers to 2025!
Thanks Shelby, lovely to connect with you here this year 😊
Vicki, I love your insights about expansion and contraction. Thanks for all you share through your writing.
Thank you Sandra. It's great to have you here, I've really appreciated your thoughtful comments 😊
My word for 2025 is PASSION.
I intend for it to align me with why I do what I do in the world, as an antidote to the fear and/or anxiety that I feel when I use my voice for change.
I am passionate about supporting change in people's hearts and minds so that they may feel more connected to themselves and then with each other. And my "niche passion", based on what my life has brought me, is to change the prevailing narrative around breast cancer.
Thank you for what you bring into my world, Vicki. Connecting with you has been a Substack gift in 2024. I wish you beauty and peace in 2025.
Thank you for your kind words Emma. I have very much enjoyed our connection here too 😀 I love your word PASSION and I love the work you're doing sharing your wisdom from your cancer journey. Wishing you a passion-filled year ahead ❤
This is wonderful, thank you.
As I've aged, I've grown more and more weary of the holiday season and longed for something different altogether. Something that feels more authentic and beautiful and warm and personal, you know? Last year, I had COVID during the holidays, so I never got around to decorating. I didn't again this year because I just didn't feel like it. No. I just said no. To the time and effort it takes to put up all the stuff, only to take it down again. I would rather dream up ways to zhush the spaces we have, to make them beautiful year round. That feels like time more well spent. Anyway, all that to say, I love your holiday tradition. In my mind, it is perfection. Time together is way more important than the food or the decorations or the gifts. We can and should be gifting our time and presence to our friends and loved ones.
I'm still thinking and reflecting deeply on this last year, so I don't have any words to share. Yet. Suddenly "open heart" popped into my head - I would like to keep an open heart, to whatever comes my way. XO
Thanks so much Danielle - and yes, I'm with you on the decorations. Fairy lights are about as far as it goes in our house, and I hate the idea of a tree being cut down just to die in my living room! Thanks for being here Danielle, I've really appreciated your presence and your thoughtful comments throughout the year, and I love those words that popped into your head 😊❤
Fairy lights are "it!" I agree!!
Thank you. I couldn't share my thoughtful comments, if you didn't produce such a wonderful place to share them :-) XO
Lovely words & thoughts, look forward to what you bring in 2025 🙏🏽
Thank you so much Lucy, and likewise, looking forward to reading more from you next year 😊
My word for 2025 is Align ✨
I loved your 20 years insights post! I didn't realise when I found it that it was from March! Great posts do the rounds over and over! 😃
Congratulations on getting married! ❤️
Thank you Natasha, and I hope 2025 falls into perfect alignment for you. Thanks for being here 😊
Thank you!! 💜💜💜